Blind Date

Finally my life's now unstuck
A blind date, stroke of luck
For tomorrow I'll greet
She stays just down the street
The courage I'll just have to pluck

It's the morning of my blind date
In a way I just can't wait
Into town I shall go
And go with life's flow
Lets hope it all turns out great

The evening starts out real well
Her shapes make my eyes surely tell
She's so buxom and pert
Makes this man so alert
More than my heart starts to swell

On the couch I move in for a kiss
Full hands I'm so much in bliss
My luck turns to yuck
Her teeth out, now she sucks
A blind date I would never have wished

Suck It And Read

Now where does one start to write
To find the courage he has to pluck
And write a poem for a contest
It's all about things that suck

Out there, there are so many places
Where this word can always be used
There are octopuses in our seas
And their suckers are used so true

Even in the medical world
They use leeches to reduce blood swelling
Their active anticoagulant
Is a marvel in their telling

There are women of ill repute
Nothing like sucking on a sweet
A hard neck never deters them
Vampire bats do it to eat

There are others in the animal world
Yes, limpets when they grip their locked
And back to the ladies and fellatio
Yes the sweetie I meant was rock

Then there are the ones who are gullible
Like a vacuum they become sucked in
There is nothing wrong with the word suck
Using it, is never a sin

In Natures Orchard

I walked through the orchard one day
In marvel at natures display
Her harvest so rich
It thrills me to bits
And the aroma of the fruits bouquet

Then over yonder a noise caught my ear
Intrigued I just had to draw near
What my eyes duly see
As I view unto thee
Leaves me in total endear

Her auburn locks against porcelain skin
Excites this Highlander from within
She's firm fit and ripe
The most beautiful of sight
She eyes me with a sinful grin

Gestures she now starts to show
In touch her pert body now grows
Teasing me she now allures
My hands now in grand tour
In the orchard, more than apples now glow

Marconi Man

I'm Marconi, and I work with knobs
But this Techno just gives me the throbs
Printed circuits and boards
So much memory is stored
Gone are the days of hand jobs


Sneaky, Treaty, Now Not So Meaty

There once was a Ninja so sneaky
He broke their mercenary treaty
For he turned on his own
Because greed was his bone
His skeleton is now not so meaty

Now let this be a lesson to all
Be upstanding and honour your call
Like the Ninja has fared
No sneaks can be spared
If you do it, your never to fall

His Heart She Did Twirl

I'll call her a different name
This girl whom I thought was my dame
On holiday she went
With my money well spent
To Malta she went on a plane

Whilst there she met a waiter called Frank
In bed playing sexual pranks
This Susanna my girl
His heart she did twirl
We're engaged, and this is her thanks

I looked forward to the day she came home
With this waiter her hands on he roamed
Hey! Susanna your dumped
I hope you end up real plump
Your a dog, I should throw you a bone

Wow! a man with the final say
Our relationship ends today
I wish you the best
With your holiday zest
It's my turn to go out and play

Three Irishmen

Three Irishmen by a window in stare
At a building just over there
From their heads their eyes pop
Their mouths all agog
So close they all are to swear

"Would you look at that!" the first Irishman says
"I've never seen this in all my days"
The Methodist Pastor so near
Into the building disappears
"I don't think this is the place where he prays"

No sooner are the words from his lips
When a Rabbi appears from the slips
With a quick look around
He disappears without sound
From his cassock, they see is a whip

Lost for words so agape they now see
Their Catholic Priest in front of them three
With a knock on the door
Like he's done this before
Appears not a total mystery

"Ah, now dat's sad." says the third Irishman
"As usual they've allowed him to go in
"One of da girls must have died"
It's why they let him inside
Be Jesus, it's a brothel, he's never to sin