The Life of Me

My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van Boom Boom's dead
I ran to my father, screaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces
Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day
In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see
I didn't enjoy it, i decided to leave
Back up north, where my futures to be
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost
And that was my aim, no matter the cost
So in 83 i met a girl, Nicola's her name, my heart was a whirl
We courted and married, in the space of 3 years
It changed my life, dis quelled previous tears
Over the years, we are blessed with 4 kids
Nightmares of the past, are now well rid
It's now 2008 and I'm feeling so low, just as lonely as i was before
There's various reasons for this lines to be said, as i stare at our house front door
Dare i go through, but do i dare
James, it's not just about you - but your children's welfare
What will i find inside or out, if someone can help me, please give me a shout
Will i ever find, what I'm looking for  - in this world or the next
It will be through my last door 

Fading Like a Flower

To become a man at seven
As my brother lay dying
At such an early age
Life to be trying
Awaiting the news
I,m now crying through my tears
Without my brother
Future fears
Believing there's hope
Maybe angels will say
Take care of your brother
For with you he will stay
Down the corridor i wait
As I hear the doors
A Doctor appears
As my tears froze
To my father he says
With a handshake he sighs
We just couldn't save him
We did all that we tried
I felt my tears melt
The ice in my eyes
We never got the chance
To say our goodbyes
Dad turns to me as I look in his eyes
The look of a parent
Knowing their son has just died
He held me close as we broke down and cried
Through broken tears, he says to thee
James my son, it's just you and me
We have lost Billy to a higher power
But he went in his sleep
Fading like a flower
" Dedicated to my brother Billy, knocked down in front of me at the age of 9 " 


You can't have my son

From a boy of seven
As I grew through the years
In the back of my mind
That constant fear
Memories of my brother
Been knocked down
Brought nightmares and horrors
In memory drown
Adult life reached
Kids born and growing
But when that Wednesday came
Past memory showing
The call that I dreaded
Had come that day
Your son's been knocked down
On his bike, as he played
In my office at work
I fell to my knees
Thinking back to those angels
Release him please
Hospital I reach
Tears in my eyes
Now I'm the father
History cries
Cubical entered
And the sight I see
Is my son Liam
Crying for me
I got knocked off my bike
I have a hole in my leg
As I thought of the angels
Who heard what i said
Crying like my father
At his sons hospital bed

  " Dedicated to the angels who released my son that Wednesday " 

That Monday Night

As brothers do
We argued at times
But on that Monday night
To the heavens you climbed

You ran ahead
But you could run very fast
I was left behind
Your life was cast

To grow together
Was taken from us
For much I would have said
In brotherly discuss

First I would say
I loved you so dear
I have just turned 49
And I wish you were here

A little brother
Needs a big one to follow
For many years after
My life was so hollow

The games we played
Football and others
Its the way it should have been
For us Fraser brothers

So Billy my brother
Boom, Boom to thee
I see you fly through the stars
As you look down over me

I only knew you
Seven little years
And every time I think of you
It brings me to tears

So next time you fly over
I have words to say
There in a loving poem
From my heart their displayed

From Brother to Brother - my Father too, sorry

Like brothers do
We fought and cried
But brothers we were
Family tied
One parent, our father
Brought us up
An ill man
Who deserved so much
But that fateful night
Only one son came back
Knocked down
Dragged over blackened tarmac
Running home
Thoughts in my head
I can't say sorry
Boom Boom's dead
Into the arms
Of my distraught dad
Five minutes earlier
Two sons he had
If we had not raced
On that Monday night
If he was not so fast
So out of sight
He would be here
Beside my dad
I'm so sorry
For being so bad
For all our fights
He would rather see
His two boys being boys
In front of thee


A man I'll never be

Growing up
My father and me
He did the best he could
Because once we were three
Events happened
And then we were two
His rise and demise
As his life withdrew
Looking back, to the memories we had 
They never lasted for years
Some great, some sad
For an ill man he did his best
And in me, I have his zest
He never recovered from the loss of his son
To say goodbye to the elder one
He was hospitalised for months and years
On the day he was taken, uncontrollable tears

The years we shared
Fifteen in all
In every one
He helped me grow tall
To appreciate, what life will give
Remember your past, let your future live

He's all around me every day
For on the wind I hear him say
Enjoy your life, live happily
I hope you get to the land of the free

My reply to you Dad
As you look down on me
The Aura around you
The man I hope to be

" Happy Fathers Day to you Dad, I still miss you, your loving son James "
         To be read listening to Boston's < A Man i'll never be >


Two Brothers

1969, two boys on the run
But on the run
To have much fun
Monday night, Boys Brigade
Where, on this evening
A life will fade
The older by two years
Could ran very fast
The youngest in the race
Just couldn't last
Corner turned
I'll catch up you'll see
Where you are
I want to be
To reach that corner
I ran and ran
As I lifted my head
My brother hit by a van
As I reach the road
I hear screams above the brakes
Screeching tyres
As my world all breaks
My brother of nine
Dragged for fifty yards
Under a van
Body skinned and tarred
I stand there trembling
In fear and tears
Slow motion engulfs me
As I shuffle near
Panic sets, as I turn and run
Past the corner
Where it all began
Running back to my father
Shouting Boom Booms dead
Images running through my head
My beloved brother
Who could run faster than thee
His life taken in front of me
To see what I seen
Just a boy of seven
Watching Angels take his brother to heaven 



Children's home reject
Left on a step
Couldn't control
The kid who wept
No questions asked
Why did he cry
Social departments
Never bothered to try
At seven years old
What could cause such as this
Tear laden child
Just drifts
Society drops him from home to home
It's a legalised criteria
For a soul to roam
In their budgets
They know they should
They say it's their best
And its all they could
This seven year old
Now known as Driftwood

My Dinner Table

Off all people I would most like to meet
At my Dinner Table, please take a seat
We could all choose Who - for various reasons
Just like nature, chose her seasons
A recent chap elected so
Its Obama man, go man go
Mr David Attenborough, the animals man
If they can do it, he can prove they can
Freddie Mercury, deceased singer of Queen
We could Bo Rap, if you know what I mean
Robin Islands, Awesome dude
He changed South Africa, with his wonderful good
This amazing guy, gets two more lines
Nelson Mandela is mighty fine
Grace Kelly of Monaco, of such beauty - Rainier knows
No longer with us, her spirit flows
Then there is me a Highland Lad
To the five above, my tables glad
Incredible in their own way
Two have gone, but there all here to stay
Presence, Legacy left behind
Indeed they are one of a kind
To be so proud and able
To grace My Dinner Table


The Darkened Shed
My spooky tale
Was when I was young
Caravan park
Where it all begun
A little girl
Disappeared one day
Like all little girls
Who frolicked, while play
A deadened shed
Amidst my dream
This darkened place
Not as it seems
I tell the police
I know where she is
I'm nine years old
Getting blamed for this
Where is she
What have you done
At nine years old
Wanting to run
As much as I try
My legs don't move
As her family mourn
What can I prove
I'm now 48
Off this I still dream
And in my sleep
My eyes still stream
Standing by the shed
Being asked, where is she
Are they recurring dreams
Or was it reality
For John Loving's " spooky tale " event and i now challenge
            Dane Ann with a spooky tale of her own


Down a Street i Walked

When I was young
I had many dreams
Of young boys quests
And nightmare streams

The dream of the shed
I have written about
But it's the other nightmare  
That made me shout

Down a street I would walk
In my hometown
As I viewed the sky
A plane came down

It crashed in the canal
Leaving debris strewn
Bodies lie dotted
Families in ruin

I stand and stare
At the plume's of smoke
I'm half a mile away
But still I choke

Sirens all around
As the screamers scream
All of a sudden
I'm out of this dream

I sit up in bed
Drenched and cold
Shivering and lonely
With no one to hold

I fall back to sleep
My mind in dread
I count, one, two three
As they line up the dead

In the morning I awake
To this recurring dream
Or is it a nightmare I keep having
In panic deep scream 



Hyper as anything,
Our Golden Cocker Spaniel;
Digger is his name.



The Man in the Wilderness

Feeling like a lodger
In my own home
Thankful for my music
And my new found roam

Families and communities
They are just so hard to find
But in April 2009
I found the most precious kind

I found the name amusing
So the button I clicked on to see
The layout was very inviting
Like an open door should be

For in a matter of minutes
On first uploading a poem
This Highlander was content
He had found a welcome home

So many lovely writers
Poets who share their bless
No longer this Scotsman is
The Man in the Wilderness


The Highlander

Father, friend, cool co-worker and cheery
Son of Andrew James Fraser
Lover of: Nature, Music and Poetry
Who is: Emotional, polite and proud
My worries are: World Peace, Society and Glasgow Celtic winning the League
I would love to see: America, it's Grand Canyon and Canada's Fraser River
Resident of: Inverness, The Capital of the Highlands


For Tomorrow and Beyond

Hopes and aims of today and tomorrow
In light of existence, may lead to sorrow
Siblings are taken, into account and viewed
In the overall picture, freedom is to be true

Where does one go, when one has to move on
Where does one work, for tomorrow to go on
When you reach an age, new lands you move to
The need for commitment, on the door you go through    

Siblings, my family -  the heart of my soul
They have to be, it's part of my goal
I am them and they are me
Where ever I go, they have to be free

Will today or tomorrow be then undecided
My children and me, we will never be divided
Time will tell, as all would be agreed
My three boys and one girl, are apart of me